Loving Yourself–Warts and All

What does loving ourselves have to do with the Law of Attraction?  Everything, really, if we want love, success and happiness in our lives, it all starts with loving who we are.   This has been said so many times it has almost lost meaning for us.  But it is true that we must be able to find love within and for ourselves if we are to find love with another, have great relationships with our friends and family, and even to find ourselves in careers we love.  Everything really starts with loving who we are.

We have been so bombarded with media images of what’s sexy and attractive and what success means, that most of us at some level long to be something other than who we are.  We have been conditioned to see our imperfections and how we don’t measure up to the rich and famous.  This can become problematic when people secretly dislike themselves as they long for the perfect figure, perfect hair, perfect career, or perfect whatever.  Longing to be someone else or have a different life keeps us stuck where we are and unhappy.  Nothing positive can happen from this place.  However,  if we release all the desires to be someone else and love and accept who we are, we give ourselves the opportunity to blossom.

Acceptance and loving who we are allows us a safe environment for changing and growing.  We can’t change or grow from a negative, self loathing place or even a longing place.  We have to accept and love and then allow ourselves to become more of who we really are.  It’s like a child who is loved and nurtured can grow and blossom beautifully, but one who is constantly criticized and scolded shuts down and internalizes that anger and frustration at not being good enough.

As we struggle to love ourselves, it helps to grasp that it is our imperfections that make us perfect.  You are perfectly YOU, like no one else ever created.

I read an article about famous photographer who has photographed many of the world’s most famous beauties, including Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren.  He said that the most beautiful discovery he made when he photographed these beauties was realizing their imperfections.  That is what he would try to capture on film, their imperfections and vulnerability.  He did not try to give the illusion of perfection.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all learn to see our imperfections as our most beautiful parts!  What a concept.

My spiritual teacher Yogi Bhajan used to say, “The difference between you and me is that I love my faults.”  He said that we should not run from those parts of ourselves but learn to appreciate them.  It is only through acceptance and genuine appreciation that we can ever let go of something in ourselves that we wish to change.  As the adage states: “That which we resist persists.”  It is through appreciating all parts of ourselves that we can have total self love and thus really be open to loving another.  As another teacher of mine said once when I was studying acting, “The critic can never be creative.”  It’s good to remember that when we are busy criticizing ourselves, we are also stifling our creative energy, whether it’s energy for a project or for our lover or partner.

For the next week, try to find the beauty in your imperfections.  Try to find the parts of you that are flawed and see how they make you uniquely and perfectly you, vulnerable and beautiful.  See how loving these parts of yourself allow you to be a better lover and more accepting of your partner, your friends, everyone.  You may also notice how you become more attractive to others as you love and accept yourself.

I would love to hear from you about your struggle or your successes in this endeavor to love yourself, warts and all.   Leave a comment.

Have a wonderful week!

Pamela